He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
So much Jack, so little girl.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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