I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
