Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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