i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
