I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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