Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
