you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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