It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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