Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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