Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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