ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
