saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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