i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i will never coherently bang her
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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