i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
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