will power is for people who don't want to get laid
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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