please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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