Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
