I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
