Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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