i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
