Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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