he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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