some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
