he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
