Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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