It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
