Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
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Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
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Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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