Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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