Screwed.edu
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
