how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
a search helicopter?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
