those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize