I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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