I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
