Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
