I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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