Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
