You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
