Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I understand Curling. That high.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
