North Korea, Best Korea!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
