I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
