P.S. I can't hear my feet
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
