you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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