Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
