Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
