please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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