your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
