I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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