Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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