Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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