Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think your dad took our porno
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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