Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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