Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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