the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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