my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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