his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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