If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm going to jail i love you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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