Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
