Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize