just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
